Preface
“There’s a hundred and four days of summer vacation and school comes around just to end it,” so on and so forth.
Phineas and Ferb (copyright Disney Corporation please don’t sue me) had it right with their opening theme song about the endless march of time that consists of our life and our yearly summer vacations. With all this time on our hands, what shall we students do? Well, Leeks’s Helpful List of Summer Vacation Tips will get that hamster wheel in your cranium going with these suggestions!
10. Do Your Homework
“Wait,” you may ask. “Homework is not cool! Work hard, play hard.” I agree! I tout this statement with headstrong pride. I do work hard (yeah I do I’m not lying shut up), and we do play hard. Yet, homework is but a constant facet in our ever changing lives.
Work, the home, we do work from home, and homework is always something we must pursue. Education of the self is of utmost importance if you are to graduate from the IB program. Homework is essential. Homework is essential. Homework is essential. Homework is essential.
9. Movie marathon
Whether it be classics like “Cornelius: The Robot from Mars Who Stole My Mother’s Spleen”(1945), or up and coming blockbusters like “Fast and Furious 36: Oh Man They Do Go Fast and Furious” (2022), a movie or two is always a fun time during the holidays. Hold a party with your friends and pick out a theme! Softball Fantasy and Yrrrrr 1!!!!22 are two of my favorites. Or alternatively, use streaming services like MoviesAreReal.com to connect with your friends from the comfort of your own bedroom.
Our favourite movie is The Room!
8. Learn a dance
Don’t let your two left feet get you down! Dancing is a fun and interactive way to exercise and let some of that artistic energy out! Here, let me teach you a dance of my own.
Okay first you put your left leg in- what are you doing. No, stop. Stop that. Are you having a seizure? I’m going to carry on now. Then you put your left foot out- I TOLD YOU TO STOP. I don’t CARE what a “Harlem Shake” is. What? Yeah, okay, I’m SURE it’s a cool trend right now. What’s YouTube? Can you just focus on the dancing tutorial? Thank you. Put your left foot in again. Are you kidding me. Dear lord, I said STOOOOOP-
7. Paraglide
Paragliding can be fun but you want to stick out of the crowd. Innovate! Go paragliding WITHOUT the paraglider! Feel the wind beneath you as you soar past the skyline of Hong Kong. Scrutinise the people below you as you look down upon them. Haha, that guy looks funny. He’s like...a dot. What a loser. Break wind 100 km above the ground.
6. Yoga or aerial yoga you get to pick
Honestly I think they’re pretty much the same. Okay, I am aware that from appearances they are incredibly different but don’t they serve the same purpose anyways. Like, clear your mind and stuff. You could probably just use a vacuum cleaner. Is this offensive to the yoga or aerial yoga community? Sorry, our editing team will rescind any potential content that directly harms anyone. Can you use curtains for aerial yoga? Wait, I’m going to go test that out.
No, no you can’t use curtains for aerial yoga. I learned that the hard way.
5. Something fun man i dont know dont rely on me
You gotta be self-sufficient okay. I can’t decide on everything for you! Go outside. Be a strong independent child! You can do it! Get out of your mom's basement! (And into ours)!
4. Help out a friend
Here’s a classic summer scenario: You receive a call from a good friend of yours asking for help. You think to yourself, they’re just moving boxes or setting up some garage sale. I’ll go over for a few hours, and I’ll come back home an accomplished person. But you get there, and in their living room your friend can’t meet your eyes. They stare down at the ground, legs shaking slightly, as their hands grip onto the table in front of them.
“I...I think I killed a man,” they whisper. It’s like the confession kills them too. You can see the sweat forming on their brow. “The body’s in the shed. I don’t know what to do with it.”
Your breath catches in your throat.
“Oh.” You lean over to grip their shoulder, going for affirmative and caring but coming off strained and nervous. “We can bury him. Or dissolve him in acid or...or something. They do it in movies all the time, right? It shouldn’t be that hard. Right?” Your voice begins to shake too.
Wet trails of tears glisten down your friend's face. Their eyes are hollow and dark.
They stand up slowly, the creaking of the chair filling the air with unpleasant noise. “I just- I don’t know what to do, man. Even a-after we get rid of the body, what about his family? The police? I’ll have to move. They can’t- I don’t-” their voice breaks off into a heaving sob.
You get to your feet.
“Let’s just dispose of him first, okay?”
The shed door opens with a screech. Inside, the twisted remains of the main have been hastily shoved into place, joints sticking out at unnatural angles. You feel sick. Your friend looks sick. Even with gloves on, you don’t want to touch the body.
“On three,” you call out. “One, two, three-”
Both pairs of hands grip the man's arms and pull him out of the shed. A stack of clay flower pots falls out after him, shattering on the ground. He lays limp, covered in ceramic shards.
“Oh,” your friend gags. “Oh, god.” You wince at the sound of vomit splashing onto the pavement as your friend keels over to the side.
“I- I can’t, no I can’t,” stammers out their voice. They stagger away from the puddle of vomit and back into the house without a word.
What are you going to do now?
3. Bowling
Escape the Hong Kong humidity with some indoors fun! A family or friend event, bowling is a classic for summer parties. Best your friends at your patented granny roll, or bond with uncles and aunts over the drinks served at the mocktail bar! Any way you spin it, bowling is a perfect summer activity to beat boredom. Even if you throw it at your friends!
2. Get hired at leeks
Our Leeks team is always looking for new hires to liven up the workplace. Of course, you will get no pay, but that’s just to be fair to the rest of our minio- I mean, employees, who also get no pay! Working here will give you experience in:
Hard labour.
The funnies.
Hard labour.
So, as a summer job opportunity, look to RCHK Leeks as a suitable candidate! Our staff of writers and designers are perfectly normal, well adjusted, friendly people who will be more than delighted for a fresh face in our Leeks Family™. If we have selected you and you do not show up, there will be consequences.
1. Get hired at Leeks.
Comments