Political awareness is the new fad amongst youngsters and teens nowadays, with terms like “late-stage capitalism,” “divorce,” and “arrest warrants for tax evasion” being the flashiest buzzwords to throw around with your fellow teenage peers. Most striking of all is the rise of the socialist- or, the proposed idea of socialism. But in this age of political know-hows, who’s-whos and other hyphenated words, are students actually aware of what socialism is?
For the uneducated layman, socialism is “a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole” (Google Search, 2021). This is not communism. Keep this in mind.
We took to online polling on our Instagram (please follow us @rchk.leeks thank you). 80% of the responders wrote “capitalism sux lol,” which did not answer our question.
A student who wrote to us anonymously said: “Socialism? That’s like, poor people, right?” This sparked a small debate, in which the words “we may not be rich but we are rich in manpower,” and “friendship is magic,” were used in the same sentence.
Another student repeated the phrase “politics is dumb” 56 times, followed with another 40 images of a smug green frog.
One particularly passionate student went on a spiel on the benefits of socialism, despite not defining socialism once in their speech. “Capitalist countries are sucking the lifeblood of our nations,” they stated. “Those [censored] [censored] reptilian [censored] are devouring small children to feed their oil campaigns. They don’t want you to know that they throw babies in the pit, known as “The Baby Killing Pit that Kills Many Babies,” because they are kept alive by the death of small children. Socialism is the way! No socialist leader would ever kill babies, for that is morally wrong. Vive la socialist!”
Finally, we personally interviewed student Nott A. Comyunest to see if they could define socialism.
LEEKS: What does the word “socialism” mean to you, Mr. Comyunest?
COMYUNEST: Why am I here again?
LEEKS: Answer the question.
COMYUNEST: It’s like worse communism.
LEEKS: Guess we have to bring out the taser.
The interview was cut short by Comyunest ripping off their face dramatically, revealing themselves to be Karl Marx reanimated from the grave. Unfortunately he was disposed of via firing squad, and we never got an answer to our question.
It seems that the youth can’t put their brain where their mouth is and actually conducively tell us the definition of socialism. Therefore, we should blow up all cell phone towers because technology is a disease, much like socialism/capitalism/communism/anarchism/thingism. Let that be a lesson in politics for you all.
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