Pop quiz time! What is your opinion on the lax environmental policies implemented in the Amazon rainforest? Snip snap tip tap. Your time’s up!
Foolish children. Without a well thought-out technique and plan to lie, you are not well prepared for the IB. Hence, I have graced you with my presence and have taken upon myself the responsibility of educating you, our finest youths, to prepare you for not only the IB, but for your entire lives.
Lying is a technique that is not only useful for business and schoolwork, but also for our daily lives. One such example would be to masquerade our discontent about conversations involving mundane topics with friends and family.
“Yes Barbara, I too love to sew sweaters for children in less economically developed countries. In fact, for my CAS trips, I go to those countries using thousands of dollars to fund my trips and build unsafe houses that do not meet building regulation standards.”
But unfortunately my fellow IB students, you aren’t allowed to be straightforward like that! You need to flower up your vocabulary. Put those English skills to the test!!! Use that figurative language and imagery that you have learned!
According to a survey sent to all DP students at Renaissance College, 100% of respondents have handed in their homework assignments and assessments on time. The survey explained that the data will not be collected anonymously and any and all names of concern will be shared with important parties. From this social experiment, we can see that all DP students at Renaissance College have the common sense to lie. They have nothing to lose. This attitude is important in IB. Risk-taking is one of the learner profile attributes students are encouraged to embody. Taking a “Do or Die” approach is truly the way to go, and is an important step to becoming a good liar.
When put on the spot about a topic you have absolutely no knowledge of, there are two approaches that you can take. Tell the truth, or make up whatever you can on the spot. Now, the first option would be best if you were talking with your friends. But when your grades are at stake? You know what to do. You may not know anything about this topic but you better darn do your best pretending that you do.
Know nothing about environmental policies that were agreed upon in the latest G20 meeting? Just argue that whatever the United States agreed on doing, the decision was bad. Next thing to do is to continue ranting about the current climate of environmental policies or the political situation in the United States no matter the relevance towards the G20 policies. After that, someone may attempt to debate you on this topic. You can either ignore all the arguments that they present and just continue ranting or you can just go:
“Oh yes, I see your point. I agree.”
Upon saying that, your speaking time will be over.
The IBDP has been recognized as one of the most rigorous high-school courses in the world, but with these tips and tricks, you have nothing to worry about in your two years of learning.
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I lied. I’m not a good liar.
I lied about my lie about my lie