Pictured: angry governments Vs happy workers
It’s no secret that the effects of the social unrest and the pandemic have taken a toll on the Hong Kong economy. Unemployment rates this year have dramatically increased from 2.9% to 6.4%. The economy as a whole has contracted over 9%. In an effort to address this issue, RCHK Leeks contacted Chief Economicus Toe Chan to confabulate and recommend solutions that could be utilized to end this economic crisis. Chan has had extensive experience in working with governments around the world to resolve their economic issues. Many famous examples of his previous work include the countries of Venezuela, Zimbabwe and Greece.
This problem is not a new one. Economies other than Hong Kong have faced far worse crises in history. Chan points to the economy of Germany as an example. “Just after World War 1, Germany was facing devastating economic calamity causing them to be on the run from loan sharks as they had a mountainous pile of debt.”
“Germany’s doorsteps were always covered with red paint. And just when they thought they were out of solutions. A lightbulb went off in their head. They printed money. They printed more money than their debt covered. And now, they have the 4th largest GDP in the world. They would be number 1 of course, but the United States, China, and Japan have very fast money printing machines. They’re very speedy.”
Indeed, if countries are lacking in money then it should be obvious that there should be more money created in order to meet this demand. “With Hong Kong’s high unemployment rate, the government should be active and print as much money as they can to subsidize industries and companies to continue employing workers” says Chan.
Another solution to unemployment is one that Chan heavily endorses: The eradication of minimum wages along with the implementation of employment quotas. “With the oversaturation of the labour market, minimum wages are a huge barrier to people getting the job that they want and truly deserve. Companies are not willing nor able to pay for more employees than they need if the costs outweigh the benefits. But with no minimum wages, there is no guaranteed salary that employees should expect. Therefore, companies will have a wide range of competitive employees to choose from the willing and able. And they will all be willing to do so if they don’t want to live on the streets.”
A clearer explanation to why this works is further provided by Chan. “To prevent individuals from being exploited by companies who offer low unsustainable salaries, companies will need to reach employment quotas stating a minimum certain number of workers employed at all times. This will raise the prices of wages as there will be more demand for workers, and if a worker is lucky, they may even earn $37.5 HKD per hour!”
In fact, Hong Kong did not have a minimum wage until 2010, and the economy was one of the fastest growing in the world in the 1960’s. However, due to corrupt government officials and misconduct, the government made a misjudgement and minimum wages were implemented.
But Chan points out that the most effective way to wipe out unemployment is the neutralization of all willing and able workers, along with children under the age of 18 and above the age of 65. “Putting them down – eternally pardoning them from life is the fastest way for governments to solve unemployment. No workers, no employment needed. AI is the future.”
When questioned on why minors and the elderly must be neutralized. Chan continued to explain. “The government has not been very satisfied by the performance of people in these age groups. They are currently treading on thin ice and are kept under heavy surveillance as they do not contribute to society or the economy. The government has been very patient with them but they have not shown any improvement. So we have to neutralize them. It’s only fair since they don’t want to work. We get rid of parasites from society and they don’t need to work ever again. It’s a total jackpot.”
There are also other more costly options, such as a mass migration of people to Neverland. Or happy holiday camps free of charge for the entire population funded by the government.
However, if the above point is deemed morally questionable in any way, the last and final resolution should be to export all Hong Kongers to different countries for work. Chan states that countries such as B***** , N****** and P***** have high demand for workers, particularly the ones who don’t care much about wages and are very enthusiastic and passionate about their work! In order for this money to reach back home however, all discretionary salary must be sent back to Hong Kong as a job-seeking commission fee.
Oftentimes, the leaders of nations lack direction or advice when faced with struggles, revolutions, and economic crises. However, Chief Economicus Toe Chan has offered top tier advice for annihilating unemployment, with the only trade-off being your happiness. A very small price for not living on the streets. For more economic advice, contact leeks@rchk.edu.hk for more questions or future article ideas!
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