Description:
100% vegetarian, 100% organic, and 99.9% edible… to some extent.* Perfect for the Irish!
* Warning: RCHK Leeks does not retain responsibility for any and all psychological or physiological trauma which may be induced by ingesting the products of this recipe. Images are for reference only. That being said, enjoy!
Ingredients:
3 potatoes
2 eggs
0.171 moles of salt (3 sig. figs.)
1 bottle of mayonnaise
1 bottle of iodine solution
Apparatus:
1 500 ml beaker
1 or more spoons
1 homemade catapult
1 table
1 centrifuge
This recipe produces √(−1) servings of “potato” “salad”.
Steps:
Boil the 3 potatoes and 2 eggs.
Place the now-boiled potatoes into a 500 ml beaker.
Use at least 1 spoon to cut the potatoes into chunks.
Liberally pour iodine solution onto the potatoes in order to test for starch content. If the potatoes turn a blue-black colour, congratulations! There is starch.
Remove the eggshells from the boiled eggs before placing them into the beaker.
Dispose of the bottle of mayonnaise via catapult, aiming for the nearest bin. It was never needed in the first place, but it’s a matter of principle.
Place the potato-egg-iodine solution mixture into a centrifuge through any means necessary.
Turn the centrifuge on. Let the salad toss within for approximately 10 minutes.
Retrieve the salad from the centrifuge and load it into the catapult, one spoonful at a time.
Fire the catapult at a table you have prepared beforehand until the entirety of the salad has been “plated”.
Garnish with salt (we recommend sprinkling it in a circle around the largest visible mass of salad present on the table).
Summon a demon and trap it in the salt circle.
Force the demon to partake in your glorious salad.
Savour it. Taste it. Enjoy it!