After experiencing the attractions of Ocean Park under the most pleasant Typhoon Signal 1 weather, here is an honest review from Rom Rom Gramsay’s cousin, the world-renowned amusement park expert, Pom Pom Gramsay on the attractions which we indulged in today.
1. Hair Raiser
A solid 9.5/10
One of the best rides in Ocean Park, the only reason why it isn’t at a 10/10 is that the ride is too short >:( Don’t be fooled by the screams of the people on the ride! It’s honestly not that scary :). Besides, the ride is so quick to the point where you can’t feel your heart drop, so you just speed the way through and look at that it’s already done.
Protip: If you are a little afraid, scream a song while you are on the ride. My personal favourite is the song Mask sus version by Dream! 2. Arctic Blast
The ol’ classic, never gets old 10/10
Good for all ages, not scary even for those who have a crippling fear of heights or roller coasters. It’s so smooth to the point where you can hold a proper conversation while being on the ride like nothing else is going on. It’s perfect for everyone and the only thing terrible about it is its long waiting time :(.
Pro tip: Buy the grilled squid at the cart outside this ride, it might cost $42 but it’s insanely good.
3. Bumper cars
Will snap your neck, 4/10
Ever wanted to be a menace to society? Ever wanted a chance to break someone's spine and ruin someone's day? Well I’m sure this attraction is the perfect thing for you! Don’t worry if you don’t know how to drive, just spin the wheel around in random directions like all the other children on the ride! If you want to cause extra trouble, be sure to head in the opposite direction as to how you’re supposed to and charge straight into other people :), the shock from the crash will definitely NOT break their necks.
4. Pirate ship
Perfect for those who don’t fear death, 9/10
Depending on where you sit, this ride can result in two very different experiences. If you sit in the middle (lame), you’ll get a pretty mediocre experience, where the swings are not as strong, perfect for those who do not enjoy rides that much. However, if you sit on the seats at either end, you have my respect, who doesn’t love the thrill of feeling their heart drop as you get pushed onto a 90º angle while having nothing but a single metal bar to hold you down. Although terrifying at first, soon enough you’ll accept your fate and enjoy how every time the boat swings to the max height, you’ll face the possibility of falling out of the ride.
5. Submarine train tunnel thing idk
Pretty chill, 8/10
A quick and easy method to get to the summit of the park. Short waiting times and pretty cool underwater videos keep you entertained. Not much to say here, it is a bit repetitive as we’ve experienced the same thing over the years but it’s alright.
6. The Flash
To those who willingly ride this, are you okay? 2/10
After experiencing this, it is safe to say what on earth is going on with this ride??? You willingly get swinged around for no reason, hung upside down for a good few seconds while STAYING there MULTIPLE TIMES. It makes me feel as though the little safety bars holding you there will come loose and have you tumbling down the sides. Anyways, I don’t understand how this is fun, it is horrible and.. And.. :(.
7. The whirlwind or whatever it's called the new ride
What the $#%^*@#, 1/10
No comment, I saw people ride this and that was enough for me, it looks like your neck and anything above will be detached from the rest of your body by the time you finish this ride.
8. Weird clown throwy spinny thingy
Always be the one who sits on the inside, 6/10
This ride will swing you around in circles where you will uncontrollably fly to the outer end of the seat due to the rapid spinny wheeeeee. The ride itself is alright, you get to enjoy the screeches of terrified 13-year-old girls while they get flung around. The only tip is to ride with a person that is larger and heavier than you so that you get to sit on the inside, meaning that you’ll get flung into them instead of having them fly into you (which is very painful).
9. Flying swings
Perfect ride for all individuals, 9.9/10
Not much to talk about, swings are great, you get flung around for a few minutes while getting to watch the trees around you. Pretty fun.
Pro tip: If you are going with a friend who just ate and is known to hurl easily, sit in front of them so when they do you can watch the lovely projectile of partially digested food and stomach acids splash onto others instead of you.
10. Cable car
Just don’t look down, 9/10
Another Ocean Park staple, pretty solid, however if you plan to go on busy days don’t even bother trying to take the cable car after 5pm. The lines will be so long where you’ll just stand there for no reason whatsoever. But! On the brightside I had the opportunity to visit the park during a typhoon, meaning no lines! If you are afraid of heights just don't look down haha... The ride is worth it, another classic.
11. The Dragon
God tier, spectacular, astounding, serotonin pumping, 1000000/10
I don’t know this wasn’t open on the day we went but like y’know it's a top tier ride and even though I haven’t been on it in years it's amazing I think.
This concludes my extensive review of the rides I, Pom Pom Gramsay experienced when I visited Ocean Park during the Christmas holidays. If you don’t agree with my review then you’re wrong sucks 2 suck.