On Monday morning, a group of biology students were unfortunately disappointed by the sight of their half eaten lab experiment. Through the security logs from the school’s high grade tech, they discovered a croc-wearing six-foot-seven man strolling into the room and shovelling the plant samples into his mouth with no regard for the plankton attached. The fact that the pondweed was submerged in murky, algae filled water did not seem to deter the glutton, who proceeded to season the large volume of water with salt and pepper before slurping it up with his “salad”.
To the dismay of the biology students who slaved for two straight weeks carefully cultivating the twenty-five samples, the glutton rendered the experiment null as over seventeen samples were completely demolished. A note was left behind by the criminal with the words “Yummy Salad//Would prefer if you did not use those funky tubes//Get some real bowls”. The victims were not amused. One of them cried on sight at the word “Yummy”, which brought back traumatic memories of Just a Beaver’s hit song released the year prior.
After complaints were lodged to the student council, wanted posters have been put up with the perpetrator’s face on it. To encourage student action, free cookies will be awarded to any and all informants with valuable information. Anyone who reports the identity of this misfit will receive satisfaction and praise, along with unconditional love from the bereaved biology students.
Cryptid hunters were spotted attempting to enter the school after hearing reports of the perpetrator’s appearance.
The school remarked on the situation calling it “a shame”. After consulting with Chief Economist Toe Chan, increased security measures and health and nutrition classes are a few initiatives to be introduced in the near future to prevent this set of circumstances from happening again. “It is all we can do,” he said.
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