Description:
This simple and reliable recipe mainly consists of potatoes, a staple carbohydrate fully endorsed by the Irish. These delectable, exquisitely succulent potato not-wedges are guaranteed to ensure full marks if consumed on the day of a Biology test.*
* Warning: RCHK Leeks does not retain responsibility in the event that full marks are not, in fact, achieved by consumers of this recipe, or for any and all psychological or physiological trauma which may be induced by ingesting the products of this recipe. Images are for reference only. That being said, enjoy!
Ingredients:
1 yellow potato
85 grams of table sugar (or around 0.234 moles of C12H22O11 for the aspiring chemists out there, corrected to 3 sig. figs.)
750 millilitres of dihydrogen monoxide (The universal solvent!)
Apparatus:
A medium-sized TupperwareTM container
At least 1 spoon (To taste)
A scalpel (So you can practice being a surgeon.)
This recipe produces at least 3 rectangular prism-shaped potato pieces.
Steps:
Bless the table sugar, in order to ensure that this recipe will bring the consumer excellent grades on their assessments.
Transfer exactly half (375 milliliters) of the prepared dihydrogen monoxide into the medium-sized TupperwareTM container.
With your fingers, gently sprinkle 80 grams of the consecrated table sugar upon the surface of the newly-separated dihydrogen monoxide.
Mix with one or more spoons for precisely 3 minutes to form a sucrose solution.
Carefully pour the rest of the dihydrogen monoxide into the TupperwareTM container to dilute the solution.
Stir the sucrose solution in a clockwise direction for 3 more minutes to ensure that it is thoroughly diluted.
Use the scalpel to first remove the skin of the potato, before cutting it into equally sized rectangular prisms with dimensions of 5 x 1 x 1 cm (LWH).
Gently lower each potato strip into the sucrose solution, such that they are completely submerged in it.
Fasten the lid of the TupperwareTM container, and leave it to rest in the refrigerator for at least 24 consecutive hours. Allow it to marinate for 48 hours for best results! (Just like the ones you wish to attain on the Biology test you may or may not have.)
With one or more spoons, extract the potato segments from the solution.
Plate the potato strips as desired (we suggest stacking them into a pyramid, though this is not explicitly necessary), and liberally garnish with the remaining 5 grams of consecrated table sugar.
Savour it. Taste it. Enjoy it!