MYP students in years 10 or above are all familiar with this one special skill. Those who are in DP, or have graduated from it must agree with what I’m about to say.
No, it is not about your ability to bs essay writing skills, nor is it about your ability to perform magical last-minute deadline rushing. Nonono, what we are talking about is a skill both beneficial to you in school and whenever you need it in life.
I’m talking about crying.
Not just any type of crying, not like full on bawling with tears and snot running down your face. Not like the type of crying you might see in sappy reunions on Youtube, nonono.
I’m talking about Professional Crying.
Never heard about it before? Well you’re in luck. Professional crying is something that really supports you through your DP journey and also whatever you may face in the future.
Professional crying, unlike other types of crying will make you feel better about yourselves! Even though you may be having one of the worst breakdowns of your life, at least you’ll be doing it with some ✨ class ✨.
How to professionally cry I hear you ask, well you’re in luck. Other than myself, my fellow Leek slaves co-workers have also learnt how to cry silently at night when our bosses are trying new experimental methods of torture to get a good night of sleep!
Based on the traumatic wonderful experiences which we go through on a daily basis, I thought I might share my expertise with the world and share a few professional crying tips with you all. Just so y’know, in case you ever needed these super cool and swag tips.
Curl up in a ball. Return to the fetal position. You will experience major comfort and relaxation if you decide to have your breakdown like this. Bonus points if you’re lying on a comfy spot on your couch/bed with a fluffy blanket. This also helps prevent your fellow Leeks cellmates from seeing you cry.
Hide in a room and turn off the lights. Maybe you’d enjoy having others accompany you, I respect that. Or if you enjoy being alone, you could always do that too, whatever works.
But when you are hiding from your employers ALWAYS be sure to check that you are alone and out of earshot or they will co-
Take sloooow and deep breaths. Doing so will calm yourself down before you let loose and you completely lose yourself in an emotional fury for the next 2 days.
Snip snip your tear ducts, so you can cry anytime anywhere without having to be self-conscious about people seeing tears run down your face! (I think that's how it works idk)
Don’t forget to hydrate lots afterwards and wash your face so you feel super refreshed as if nothing happened!!!
Oh look at the time, it’s 3 AM, my routinely crying session so that my employers don’t hear me and beat m-
