Through recent weather changes, summer feels like it's right around the corner (it is not). The sun is shining and the birds are singing, much to the dismay of many a disgruntled student coping with the fact that there is still school after exams. Now, as a result of some recent weather changes, there have been some rather unfortunate heat-induced disasters unfolding across the school.
Students entering the swimming pool were in for a warm welcome as it is now the record holder for the biggest soup in Hong Kong, confirmed by the World Record Committee last week. Witnesses say that the swimming pool is now a melting pot of largely unidentified objects, which *unpaid* individuals speaking of their own accord say “are definitely not people. Trust."
Hear this from another enthusiastic secondary student: “Guys, the swimming pool is completely normal and safe to swim in," he said. "The third arm I am growing is from wholly unrelated causes and I do not have radiation poisoning." When prompted for an opinion, he replied: "I love swimming, I love the summertime, and I love soup!" before collapsing out of what must've been the sheer joy of sharing one's thoughts.
This student’s relief was further evidenced by their bloodshot eyes and repeated pleas for interviewers to, “please let me leave, I have been trapped here for three days straight please just let me go.” Who knows what that was about?
The cafeteria has also taken advantage of this recent development as a part of a new sustainable cooking initiative and will now be serving soup every Friday. The health-conscious can also rest easy, as Chartwells has assured concerned parties that this new item absolutely falls in line with current food safety regulations.
From now until the end of the year, you can come down to the cafeteria for this limited edition menu item now available for the low and completely reasonable price of $21.
What a steal!