could the year 11 who keeps pulling the fire alarm please stop

Dear fire alarm puller: sleep with one eye open. This is not a warning. This is a threat.

Could the year 11 who keeps pulling the fire alarm PLEASE stop or at least have the decency to do it whilst I am in TOK class? I am SICK and TIRED of having to stand in the SCORCHING 33˚C heat right under THE DAMN SUN. Could you not be more tactful with your timing and fling yourself at the fire alarm when the sun isn't planning to kill us all? Oooh, look at me stopping everyone from sitting in 20˚C degree air conditioning! Ignore the teachers preaching in the background about keeping their air conditioning at 25˚C like a bunch of world leaders saying they'll try to reach sustainable global climate change levels. We're also using them as dehumidifiers, so it makes up for the energy usage. Probably.

Pretty soon the fire department is going to just leave us all to fend for ourselves. They already leave after only 2 minutes because they know you’re doing it for fun. Instead of the boy who cried WOLF, it is going to be the year eleven who keeps making the f****** alarm cry FIRE. Can you feel my rage? I even have expletives. “AHHHHHHHHH,” cries the fire alarm, but also me. Because you suck. Sixteen year olds these days don’t even have the sympathy to press the alarm during *cough* MY TOK CLASSES??? Where are your morals, huh? Did your mom not teach you better? Did she not yell “I will kung pow your chicken and mapo your tofu?” when you get an A- on your report card?

SAVE ME SOME FACE. Maybe I just don’t want to turn into another ethnicity. One person I know even has skin cancer because of you. Imagine getting skin cancer. DO YOU FEEL BAD NOW?

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BREAKING NEWS: Everybody is done with your s***!

The Fire department weighs in with their account of the situation. “We’re done. We still have a moral obligation to help so we’re going to train a batch of students in MYP to do firefighting. That will take 6 months. Leave us alone after that. Live, laugh, love. Please take care of yourselves.”

According to Chief Economist Toe Chan, such measures are “much more efficient, and may perhaps be the most cost-effective method to save the school when people keep pressing the alarm button. It also leads to a more productive society, as firefighters no longer have to deal with such incidents.”

“It may also get rid of that miserable year eleven too, if we are lucky. A win for everybody – including me,” said a Toe Chan who became a few shades darker after he was forced to stand on the basketball court like a loser because of a particular somebody...