In a shocking turn of events this afternoon, a seemingly tense situation was diffused with the sound of a fire alarm. “It seemed almost absurd,” said Year 13 student Juan Chan, an AA HL math student who glistened with pride. “We were just waiting outside the secondary gym with excitement over what beautiful content would be on the exam papers. I couldn’t wait to get a 110% on my paper 1 just so I could get a 5 from the high-grade boundaries!”
“But then, the fire alarm went off—it was probably one of those pesky AI SL kids trying to get out of the math paper. They’re always trying to escape from doing math. Too bad math studies doesn’t exist anymore. They would’ve deserved to be there instead.”
In the investigation that took place afterwards, security footage revealed that it was indeed a pesky AI SL kid who pulled the alarm. The culprit has since been taken into police custody. When questioned if they regret inconveniencing the entire SCHOOL and the poor fire department, they shrugged. “It was worth a try," they said. "Instead of inconveniencing, though, I'd prefer if you worded it as 'taking one for the team'."
In the event that a fire does actually occur during the exam, the IB coordinators have communicated that you should sit tightly in your seat so you can be roasted perfectly. When the fire does enter the gymnasium, make sure to send a friendly wave as it slowly encroaches towards and engulfs you in its flames.
This is so the IB can avoid having academic dishonesty— anyone who has already seen the exam material and leaves the hall before finishing is a threat to the integrity of the programme, ignoring the fact that we can conceivably send the exam materials to STC after our exams, as their exams are two hours later than ours. Yes, the IB will hunt you down. The threats are indeed real as shown by the strictness in the moderation of the r/IBO subreddit and the discord server. Any sort of conversation about examinations sends them into crisis management mode as they lock down all threads and send automated messages to shut you up. Even if you did not intend to do so at all by not mentioning any content or difficulty of any questions or sections, but the way you phrased the message sounded like so, thus guaranteeing an immediate ban. And the bot doesn’t even send you a message as to why, thereby leaving you in the dark. >:(
However, the most glaring problem is that you will upset Ms. Davey-Peel, and Ms. Davey-Peel is not a woman who deserves to be upset, ever.
(As an author's note at the end of the page may be too little too late, this disclaimer is here to remind the reader that RCHK Leeks is indeed a satire paper and no one in the cohort, to the writer's knowledge, has demonstrated any acts of academic dishonesty, nor has an AI SL student pulled the fire alarm; the jury’s still out on that. We have only cried tears of despair.)
Despite this interruption, the year 13’s still managed to finish their paper 1 math examinations without a hitch. We wish them the best of luck in their following examinations!
But if anyone knows who actually pulled the fire alarm, our email is leeks@rchk.edu.hk. Thank you for any help you can provide.
Slander to the ai sl community